I'm in Copenhagen trick

Copenhagen Time: 3:09 in the am.

Real time (aka what my body thinks it is): 9pm

Ok so this is my schedule for the past day or so.

Friday 15: 7:30am EST to run some errands before my 530 flight to CPH. Took the 8 hour flight to CPH and arrived 7:10 am Denmark time.

Sat 16: I met up with some kids from the program and we found the hotel I was staying in. No one’s credit cards worked because apparently we need PINs for those outside the US (thanks for telling us credit card companies). We walked around for a bit until I passed out at 2:30 pm from being awake for over 24 hours (Coffee, I <3>

Alright so that you know, jet lag sucks—like HARD. It has driven me to make poor decisions. Unfortunately, I like Spock, make decisions based on logic. Therefore it only makes sense since I hate writing and taking photographs that I would….err…make a photoblog?. Yes, I am going to try my best to keep this blog going. However, I cannot promise anyone who reads it that 1) they will like it, 2) that I even know how to speak English or can spell, 3) I don’t make random or unwarranted comments or observations, and finally 4) that they won’t have any of the following side effects: heart attack, stroke, migraines, and anal leakage. Ever notice how they always throw that last one into side effects…good god.

So right now I’m in the hotel room aka the broom closet:

My room

This hotel is strictly non-smoking with a 1000dk fine. So naturally my room reeks of cigarettes because who follows the law…pfft. PEOPLE HERE SMOKE LIKE CHIMNEYS. Now I don’t have anything against that, but take this example. I was talking to some of the other kids in DIS at a café and a girl was sitting at another table. During a 20 min conversation, she stepped outside for 3 cigarettes. Despite this, I’d be willing to bet she is healthier than I am. I plan on asking directions to the magic fountain that provides water with healing abilities tomorrow morning.

I bet she spends a lot of $ on those. OH MONEY, HOLY FREAKING WHAT THE OMG ODIN’S RAVEN GOOD GRACIOUS GREAT GRANDMA’S SPATULA. In the US, I’m cheap, like really cheap.

Side note intrusion: Aqua is on TV right now. The only thing on is like MTV videos because it’s so late. Like, Aqua is still a band? Additionally, all the music videos here are literally soft core porn. Oh Europe, you slay me. When I turned the TV back on it was Party in the USA…no comment.

Ok, sorry, back to money. I’m actually beginning to wonder how people can even afford to live in Denmark. They pay over 60% taxes. They pay 180% tax on cars. Gas is like $1billion/litre. Fact. Also, a bag of potato chips at 7/11 is 25DKK. There is 5 DKK per $1US. IT IS A $5 BAG OF POTATO CHIPS. And no, it isn’t like family sized. It’s the size of the one you get with your $5 Subway meal. If I wasn’t living with a family, I’d bet that I would lose about 40 lbs over the next 5 months. I am already 150 pounds.

Some of the girls I met are living in the dorms and get a weekly stipend for food--$60 US. Now, based on the above example…see this before and after.

In general, packing for this trip was a nightmare. Here is a tip to anyone planning on traveling to Denmark: Don’t read a “packing list” page of a 57 year old man who claims he has traveled to Europe like 8 times and suggests turtle necks, khaki pants, and these. I don’t know about other countries, but I haven’t seen a single person that didn’t wear skinny black jeans. As of right now there are 2 outfits that are universal around the world:

1) Biddie outfit in USA (female)—UGG boots, Black tights (maybe a short skirt), 3 t-shirts (those lacy ones that stick out past each other at the waist), a black Northface, Enormous sunglasses

2) Denmark outfit (male)—Chuck Taylors, Blonde hair (NOT OPTIONAL), tight black jeans, black plain hoodie, blue t-shirt with a crazy pattern but no logo, black winter coat, North Face backpack

For females in Denmark, substitute Robin Hood boots for UGGS, minus sunglasses, wool coat, and just add Class. For males, think emo clothes that cost 100x more.

Danish lesson #1:

The first of danish language lessons.

Danish: Min luftpudebåd er fyldt med ål

English: My hovercraft is full of eels.

Oh and don’t bother trying to say ith. It’s physically impossible to make those sounds.